Some Acting Buzzzzz

Well, guys, I finally did it. I finally acted, on camera, for a network. And I got paid to do it. Woohoo!

When my agent called about the audition, all I knew was that the spot was called "TBS Promo," and that they were looking for QUIRKY, FUNNY, CUTE. SHOULD HAVE GREAT IMPROV BACKGROUND.

I attend classes at Upright Citizens Brigade, an improv/sketch theatre. Below are pictures from my Level 201 graduate show. I suppose that's a "great" improv background, no?

It's a strange experience going into an audition for a quirky female, because suddenly you're asking yourself why you're not as weird, more outgoing or more talkative as everyone else. ("She's insane, but maybe that's what they're looking for?") I remember being in the hallway when all the girls had a seriously detailed discussion of who should audition in which order - until one girl whipped out her iPhone and showed a picture of the check-in lineup that she snapped when she arrived. Handy. The audition was 1 or all 4 of the following spots:

Spot 1: A girl finally finishes packing her jillionth moving box. She breathes a sigh of relief. Suddenly, she hears a cat's 'meow' and realizes she packed her cat. Somewhere.

Spot 2: A girl sneaks into the back of the freezer, into the duck-taped box of peas, and pulls out Reeses peanut butter cups to enjoy, alone, for herself.

Spot 3: A girl answers the door and notices her blind date is two inches shorter than her. She takes off her heels and changes to flats. Cute.

Spot 4: A girl in a bumblebee outfit answers the door and finds her new date also in a bumblebee outfit. She giggles that they're the same - true love. Adorable.

As I was leaving, having auditioned for all of the spots, I hear, "Hey, you in front of me!" I keep checking my phone, not sure why any stranger would--- "Oh, you must be on your phone, huh?!" I turn and see a quirky, outgoing, obviously talkative girl heading for me. "Did you do all the spots? I did all of them. I really liked them. They're funny because it's actually like what humans really do. I mean I do them. I really hope I get the bee spot..."






Well, well, well...
I guess that's a... buzzkill... for her?


I BOOKED MY FIRST NETWORK COMMERCIAL!!!!!!!

A TBS PROMO!!!! YAY!!!!








And today was filming day! I arrived on set at 8am. I ate some free breakfast, and met Nick Armstrong, who's a fantastic person, hilarious actor, and a regular performer at the iOWest in Hollywood (UCB competition!). I spend an hour and a half in hair and makeup, which consisted of them using 50 pins to keep all my hair up and under that bonnet. Once we got the full bee outfits on, pretty much "You look so cute" became the catch phrase we got all day. Fine by me!

Here's how the filming world breaks down: You don't know anything about what you're going to be doing, where you're going to be doing it, or how you're going to be doing it. I didn't even know I had gotten the bee spot until I went in for the fitting a few days earlier. When on set, we honestly weren't even sure what the spot was even about, exactly. The crew kept asking "What's your story?" and Nick and I would make up something different every time. And then there's "The Client": representatives from TBS. Then there's the director, Rob Meltzer (Who was so fantastic! A great director, fun to be around during shooting, and just a friendly person in general), and Rob has to both make sure we actors know what we're doing but at the same time cater to The Client's needs. If Client no likie, then Client talkie straight to Director, never Actor. It was quite the moment when The Client wanted Nick to smile bigger, and took a moment from his comfy chair to show Rob how to do that, and Rob simply says, "He can't smile any bigger; that's just his face." The Client walked away, saying "Well, whatever, just BIGGER for him." And the entire time, Nick was standing. Right. There.

We high-fived a lot of watching children and took photos with a lot of PAs, the director, etc.



We also came up with a million ways that being a bee would be hilarious in everyday situations. Riding the metro while doing Sudoku. Being a police officer, perhaps undercover. Guest starring on a talk show. Testifying in court. Walking into AppleBees and asking for honey.


Other Wonderful Puns From Today:
"Just wing it."- a PA
"You look beeautiful!" - a hairdresser
"Are you buzzed?" - Nick
"Just bee yourself!" - Director
(We also sang "I'm a be, I'ma I'ma I'ma be"...)

Anyway, I could not have possibly had a better experience. Now that I've had a taste of the honeycomb, I'm hungry for more! Watch for my "LIFE IS GOOD" promo on TBS!!!


Buzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!

No Rest for the Weary

I haven't written in forever, and that's because I like to provide a lot of detail into each and every situation I find myself. We're going to do something different this time: short segments. Ahem.

5K
I did it! I got 2nd place in my age category, 19-29, and thus a MEDAL! Yay!

STAND UP COMEDY
I did it! I think I'm talking way too fast. And - YOWZA - the angle. But still!

HALF MARATHON
I did it!

Finish Time
1:57:27
**8 min, 58 sec mile pace!

Overall Place
1,516 / 12,358 (Official Finishers)

Female Place
464 / 7,925 - The winner was 1:26:25

Division Place (Women 18-24)
43 / 725 - The winner was 1:34:15

The race course was nutso. Through Disneyland (so many people stopped to take pictures of Disney characters), then past cheerleading teams, boyscout troupes and mariachi bands. Past the 10k mark and into Angels Stadium, where I could see myself on the JumboTron. I didn't even realize my body wanted to pass out until Mile 12!

FUNNY OR DIE
I did it!  You can see me as one of the bikini girls!  I didn't get to work with any of the celebrities, but I did recognize the director right away: Eric Appel is in the amazingly funny improv group Shitty Jobs, which has won the Upright Citizens Brigade Cagematch every Wednesday night for two months straight.
 
NEW HEADSHOTS
I did them!

Phew.

So that's been the last month. I also skydived in June and went to the ESPYs in July. Still should blog about that sometime...

Now you're all caught up! And I'm all ready for a nap.

Laryng-Ai-Yi-Yi-tis.

Last Tuesday, for no reason whatsoever, my voice began to fade. Maybe it was from talking too much - GUILTY, hah - and I did have a couple of vodka cranberry drinks that night. Maybe the alcohol had gotten the best of my throat. I talked as little as possible for the rest of the night and drank plenty of water, just like all the other times my voice got scratchy.

On Wednesday, for no reason whatsoever, my voice was gone.

Now, I don't know if you know this about me or not, but I talk a whole darn lot. On Wednesday I waitressed all day, gesturing to my throat ("I lost my voice") and then doing the 'gnarly' sign with my thumb and pinkie finger near my mouth ("something to drink?") before smiling and shuffling away with the remaining dignity I had left. Strike One.

That night I went to the ESPY awards (this will be another blog) and had to spend the entire event and post party as a mute. Great way to make contacts. Strike Two.

On Thursday my coworkers and I had a scavenger hunt. My partner and I came in last place - well, we would have if we hadn't resigned before the last clue. We never really got to "talk it out." Strike Three.

On Friday my very patient translating boyfriend Whit took me to the doctor. Laryngitis. (Surprise?) By this point I had downloaded the "Speak It!" app from iTunes (Yep, as far as laryngitis is concerned, "there's an app for that") and used it to tell the doc my symptoms. He shook his head and laughed at the ridiculousness of it all, grabbed the app and typed for a minute. He pushed the PLAY button: "You are always right, honey." Whit and I laughed as he asked if there was a way to get that playing on a loop for his wife. For the record, you can do an American or a British male or female voice. Quite fun.

Anyway, what I had was viral, not bacterial, so he couldn't prescribe antibiotics. I just had to sit and wait for however long it would be gone. Which is difficult to do when you have a friend from college visiting in two days and you're going to give him a tour of Los Angeles. Somehow, we managed.

I finally got my voice back yesterday, one full week later, for no reason whatsoever. I heard it could have taken up to two weeks... egad! I had to take off three days of work and swore I'd be homeless soon at that rate. Jamie Petitto is back in action! (Sorry, to some of you...)

Since I can, let me tell you what helps/doesn't help for VIRAL (not bacterial) laryngitis:

DOESN'T HELP:
• Drinking hot tea
• Whispering
• Drinking tequila (my agent highly recommended this option to me)
• Trying to "talk through it"
• Lemons (they're acidic, duh!)

KINDA WORKS, BUT:
• Throat lozenges (only take one an hour, max, otherwise it'll thicken the throat)
• Honey (I'd only recommend two teaspoons a day)

WORKS
• Lipton Green Tea w/ Honey. Tastes alright, but my voice literally started to come back within the hour. Could've been a timing coincidence, but I'll still swear by it.
• Drinking tons and tons of water
• Not talking

So there you go.

I don't know why my voice decided to go on a vacation, but I'm very happy it's back :)

A Great Man

I flew in to Chicago on Friday, 3/12, and went straight to the hospital to visit Grandpa. He had a feeding tube and a breathing tube, but for some reason the biggest shocker was that he had four days-worth of stubble. Grandpa shaved every day of his life - he would've been pissed! The entire Petitto family was there: Uncle Joe & his wife Anne, who drove in from Arkansas; Aunt Patty and her kids Corey, Michael & his wife Grant, Gina & her daughter Angelina; Dad, Mom & my brother Bob; Me. Small family, especially for Italians. Grandpa always used to chuckle and say he wanted to have two more kids so that two more kids could take care of him when he was older. Something to think about, I'm sure.

Once the family was ready and waiting, the hospital staff removed both tubes and allowed us back into the room. Bob and Michael said a prayer as we all held hands. I don't think of all of us were in the same room together since my brother Bob & Michelle's wedding in June 25, 2005. Well, I guess all of us were together minus Aunt Anne in February of 2008, when Uncle Mike (Patty's husband) unexpectedly passed from a heart attack.

I guess we were all expecting some type of cinematic experience to occur. Like that he would start sputtering and the machines would all go off and the hospital staff would run in and yell things until the very end. But he just kept breathing, just as he did with the tube. Vitals were just fine. As time went on, family filtered out to eat dinner or to put the kids to sleep, and eventually I was the only one left in the hospital room with him. At 11:00pm the staff moved Grandpa out of the ICU and into a regular room in the center of the hospital, since he was staying so consistent. Every now and then his arms would raise up, or he'd open his eyes (without any recognition) if you spoke loudly to him. For the most part, however, he just breathed real deep and moved his head from side to side on the pillow. I couldn't bare to leave, simply because it was dark and cool in the hospital and because you always hear the stories of those who "passed away in the night." So I stayed until about 2am, when sleep was getting the better of me.

The next day, Saturday, Mom and I went back to visit. He was breathing exactly the same, only this time he was shaved! A very nice nurse had done the task, and he looked back to normal. Kind of. As Grandpa had said to a nurse only a few days earlier, shaving "takes 10 years off" of him. At 94, he was still always the jokester.

Sunday the same. Now we were all wondering if he was just playing us. Just trying to get some well-needed sleep and would be ready to go home soon. I turned to a nurse and said, "Well, he has no feeding tube, though. I mean, it's not like you're going to starve him, right?" She hesitated and responded, "Well, actually, yes that's what it would be." Um, bwah? He was getting medication for pain on top of the regular IV fluid. Other than that, nothing. His heart was at 30% and his kidneys at 6%, but he was breathing fine, his brain activity was fine... it was just tough to think about. Uncle Joe and Anne left to go back to Arkansas, and I never ran into Aunt Patty's kids again - maybe they had already made their peace. I only saw Aunt Patty and my dad, who at one point grabbed Grandpa's arm and said "Keep fighting, Soldier." I guess we all have our coping methods.

On Monday, Mom and I visited Grandpa at 3:00pm. He looked exactly the same. "Ellen" was on television, and Michael Bublé was the guest singer. I put the portable speaker up to Grandpa's ear (they say that hearing is "last to go") and held his hand, moving to the music. At 4:00pm, right before we left, I told him I loved him very much. I also told him that he could rest now, it was time. Gave him a kiss on the forehead and then Mom and I headed out to see Grandma, who was now over at a rehabilitation center for her stroke.

At 6:30pm, Dad called. Grandpa had passed. On March 15, 2010. It was also Dad's birthday.

We had the funeral this past Thursday, 3/18. We brought Grandma from rehabilitation and the whole family, minus Joe & Anne, were once again together.

A couple of years ago, I had given Grandpa a tape recorder. I had thought to perhaps make a movie or write a book about him and his fantastic stories, which he'd tell every time I'd visit. He had filled up the recorder within the first week, and with my being in California, the tape recorder was never cleared for him to begin again. However, I was able to take the audio off the recorder and make a "Grandpa CD," a good hour of all of his endearing tales, from being born to meeting Grandma to having kids, etc. We played it as our funeral service, along with some words from a Catholic priest to follow up. (Side note, but still should be mentioned: Grandpa was born in 1916, so he did still possess traces of a racist mindset. The priest was Indian, and while there were plenty other things to think about in the moment, I couldn't help but wonder if he would've been more upset that such a priest was presiding over his funeral than not being shaved for four days in the hospital. Just saying.) I'm going to miss him like crazy.

Thank you to all who prayed on his behalf. Now please keep Grandma in your prayers, who must not only deal with the loss of her husband of 70 years, but who is continually recovering from multiple strokes, former breast, cervical and thyroid cancer, and a broken hip.

IN MEMORY
Joseph Frank Petitto
1/23/1916 - 3/15/2010
"Nothing is more important than family." - JFP

Grandma & Grandpa

My mom called me this afternoon to say the lady who comes daily at 8am to take care of Grandma & Grandpa rang the doorbell and no one answered. She called Dad. He went over to see Grandpa lying on the floor and called the paramedics.

Grandpa may have had a mild heart attack, and his face looked like he had been beaten up. He's on oxygen since he's having trouble breathing and might have had a touch of flu in the past couple of days. They even said he had a small amount of pneumonia. But apparently he's lucid and joking just like always.

Dad and Aunt Patty had decided to take Grandma to the hospital as well just to keep her in the hospital to make things easier. She's been out of it for at least half a decade and they've had to take turns every night changing her and helping her use "the potty" before tucking her in. Once she woke up screaming at Grandpa, only to say she couldn't find her hands.
"They're right here, under the blankets," he had told her.
"Oh," she replied.

To get her into the ambulance with Grandpa, they told the paramedics they thought she might have had a mild stroke. They found out at the hospital that she did have a mild stroke. So there we go.

Mom said the doctors were asking Grandma questions like you'd see in the movies.
"What day is it?" they asked.
"I don't know."
"What year is it?" they asked.
"This year!" she replied, which Mom thought was actually pretty cute. Clever Grandma.
The doctor pointed at Aunt Patty. "Who is she?"
"Antoinette!"

Later on, however, when Mom and Aunt Patty were leaving to go from Grandma's room to Grandpa's room, Grandma said, "Patty Lou, come here!" So maybe she's kinda back to a version of normalcy.

Oh, may I also mention that Grandpa is 94 and Grandma is 91. And they've been together for over 70 years. My prayers are with them right now - I hope yours might be today, too.

Jury Duty, Moment 3

Everyone sat in the courtroom, very tired and very much so hoping they still wouldn't be called into a juror's seat. The first excused was Mr. Incomprehensible. His replacement worked as an optometrist for the last six months after working on a Sundance Film for the past 8 years. She was normal; the People accepted.

Defense excused Juror 11, the museum guy. Replacement worked as an analyst for the Department of Medicine at USC. Normal Sunday school teacher type. Poor girl.

Defense excused Juror 3, the squeamish mother. Replacement was a development associate for fundraising who lives in Pasadena. The People accepted. The Defense accepted.

Huzzuh! The panel of jurors raised their hands. "Do you so agree?" Yes, yes they did. Now on to the alternates...

6643. 3866. I could hear Chatty Kathy tell her friend, "You let out that sigh of relief too soon," as she walked up to the alternate chair. 6643 was attacked at age 20, 18 years ago, and she lost 8 months of memory after the incident. Also, her stepson was in jail in Florida.
"Is he young?" asked the Judge.
"Yes. Well. 40," she replied.
"That's young," said the Judge with a smile, clearly over that age limit. I liked her.
6643, with tears in her eyes, then asked for a sidebar as the Judge continued to ask her questions about the attack.

3866 worked at Warner Brothers, reassessing financial risks within the company. I would not like to have her job. Poor girl.

The Defense excused 6643 (surprise) and she is replaced by 7586, a single marketing manager whose car was stolen ten years ago in Chicago and that's about it. Normal girl. The portly Defense asked her a question or two, peering at her with his little eyes behind his big glasses. No more questions. The People accepted. The Defense accepted.

It is finished.

Let's recap, shall we?

• Juror 4: Molested as a child
• Juror 7: In-law's kids in trouble with the law - one deported back to Armenia
• Juror 8: Girlfriend raped; Cousin convicted of murder
• Juror 10: Arrested for assault; Friend's baby boy beaten by the father, lacerating its liver
• Juror 11: Friends killed and raped by stranger
• Juror 12: High school girlfriend molested
• New Juror 1: Wife molested; Brother arrested; Sister arrested
• New Juror 5: Molested as a child
• Alternate 1: Attacked and raped
• CRIMINAL: Claimed to have consensual sex with an 18-year-old stepdaughter while married to her mother
  

Fan-tastic.

I don't know about you, but I'd never heard so many depressing situations in one room in my life. I remember my elementary math school teacher telling the class that 1 out of every 13 people shared the same birthday, so at least one couple in the class might raise their hands at the same time when she picked a date. I didn't realize that 1 out of every 2 people in Los Angeles County had been a victim of an absolutely horrendous crime. How sickening.

We were dismissed (for good) at 1:00pm, and I began walking to clear my head. I passed a homeless man sitting cross-legged on the street, who asked me for money. I passed a crazy man on a bicycle who was flailing his arms and legs so much that he almost combo-punch-kicked me in the face. I passed a frail old lady who stood motionless near sidewalk construction, not really looking at anyone or anything.

And, at the end of my walk, I passed a building that boasted on its front door sign:

WEDDINGS. BRIDAL GOWNS. JEWELRY. IMMIGRATION.
INCOME TAX. DIVORCES. OTHER SERVICES.

We sure have it all out here in Los Angeles. Just not sure what-all it is, or if I want any of it.

Love You Bunches

I take classes at a place called Act Now!, which invites casting directors to teach exactly what it is they look for and expect during an audition. I took a class with commercial director Chris Game, whose body of work has included commercials for Swiffer and Shell. When waiting in the hallway a couple of weeks later for another class, Chris came up to me.

"I was going to call you," he said. Really? "I want you to audition for this film I'm casting, called DONNER'S PASS. It's for the lead." ... Deal!

I had already planned a trip that weekend to San Fransisco with my college soccer teammate Jen and her roommate Gwen, both of whom now live in San Diego. This means that I first read the script on my iPhone, sitting up in a sleeping bag between beds in the girls' hotel room. I returned to LA on Sunday, only to be just as distracted on Monday by the excitement of seeing my wonderful mother, who was invited by friends to visit San Clemente and took a day away to come and visit me. We all saw Bonnie Hunt, who gives you a free hot dog and root beer just for showing up! Anyway, I digress. Tuesday, the day before the audition, Whit and I drove out to San Clemente to see Mom's view of California. Poor Whit - I made him run through lines with me the entire drive there and back (which worked out well, since the longest of the three scenes I had to memorize included the girl behind the wheel). My only goal, being the first feature film I had auditioned for, was to get a callback.

And I got a callback.

The callback consisted of only one other girl and myself switching in and out of the audition room while several others auditioned for the remaining roles. In a week I found out that the other girl, Desiree (pronounced Des-uh-ree, not ray) won the role. Shucks.

Today I received a call from Chris Game - firstly, because he is currently acting in a play called Love Bites at the Elephant Stage Theatre (I happily bought tickets to see him perform this Sunday); secondly, because he wanted to tell me that he was very impressed with my overall audition for DONNER'S PASS. He said that Desiree had been under that director for the past five years, and that a large group of girls had auditioned for the role. To have been selected in the Top 2 was really saying something. Obviously, I emailed this news to Mom. And her response is really the only reason for this entire blog.

"YEAH! Good for you! That's a big deal that he'll keep you in mind for future stuff!

It was really nice of him to call and tell you that, huh? If the other girl really has been training for 5 years, I guess it's about time she got a role in a film.....

YOU SHOULD BE VERY PROUD OF YOURSELF! Give yourself a BIG hug. And then another BIGGER one for me.

Love you bunches!!!!!"

Now, wouldn't every daughter be so lucky to receive such a vibrant and caring letter from their mother? I couldn't be luckier. And, for the record, I love her bunches, too.