Laryng-Ai-Yi-Yi-tis.

Last Tuesday, for no reason whatsoever, my voice began to fade. Maybe it was from talking too much - GUILTY, hah - and I did have a couple of vodka cranberry drinks that night. Maybe the alcohol had gotten the best of my throat. I talked as little as possible for the rest of the night and drank plenty of water, just like all the other times my voice got scratchy.

On Wednesday, for no reason whatsoever, my voice was gone.

Now, I don't know if you know this about me or not, but I talk a whole darn lot. On Wednesday I waitressed all day, gesturing to my throat ("I lost my voice") and then doing the 'gnarly' sign with my thumb and pinkie finger near my mouth ("something to drink?") before smiling and shuffling away with the remaining dignity I had left. Strike One.

That night I went to the ESPY awards (this will be another blog) and had to spend the entire event and post party as a mute. Great way to make contacts. Strike Two.

On Thursday my coworkers and I had a scavenger hunt. My partner and I came in last place - well, we would have if we hadn't resigned before the last clue. We never really got to "talk it out." Strike Three.

On Friday my very patient translating boyfriend Whit took me to the doctor. Laryngitis. (Surprise?) By this point I had downloaded the "Speak It!" app from iTunes (Yep, as far as laryngitis is concerned, "there's an app for that") and used it to tell the doc my symptoms. He shook his head and laughed at the ridiculousness of it all, grabbed the app and typed for a minute. He pushed the PLAY button: "You are always right, honey." Whit and I laughed as he asked if there was a way to get that playing on a loop for his wife. For the record, you can do an American or a British male or female voice. Quite fun.

Anyway, what I had was viral, not bacterial, so he couldn't prescribe antibiotics. I just had to sit and wait for however long it would be gone. Which is difficult to do when you have a friend from college visiting in two days and you're going to give him a tour of Los Angeles. Somehow, we managed.

I finally got my voice back yesterday, one full week later, for no reason whatsoever. I heard it could have taken up to two weeks... egad! I had to take off three days of work and swore I'd be homeless soon at that rate. Jamie Petitto is back in action! (Sorry, to some of you...)

Since I can, let me tell you what helps/doesn't help for VIRAL (not bacterial) laryngitis:

DOESN'T HELP:
• Drinking hot tea
• Whispering
• Drinking tequila (my agent highly recommended this option to me)
• Trying to "talk through it"
• Lemons (they're acidic, duh!)

KINDA WORKS, BUT:
• Throat lozenges (only take one an hour, max, otherwise it'll thicken the throat)
• Honey (I'd only recommend two teaspoons a day)

WORKS
• Lipton Green Tea w/ Honey. Tastes alright, but my voice literally started to come back within the hour. Could've been a timing coincidence, but I'll still swear by it.
• Drinking tons and tons of water
• Not talking

So there you go.

I don't know why my voice decided to go on a vacation, but I'm very happy it's back :)